i m bad??

today...is kinda a weird day..because i go to church....owwhh..dont get me wrong...it just...im hearing about a man that is a former muslim that already converted into Seventh Adventist day (SDA) and he and his family went there to confess......honestly...SDA is not a bad religious....it similar to Islam but still have the different...i love Islam more....

HYPOCRITE!!!~~

someone tell me that,"what u will do "..the other will described n call u a fake and hypocrite... the person also try to blackmail me...the person want me to follow what she do..but i refuse...i dont want....i really felt ashamed what she said n the way she talking to me....i felt really uncomfortable....i make a deep thought and the i came with a conclusion...


"why im thinking about the other person thought??,,yes,,i AM hypocrite"...and everyone too... i dont need to felt embarrassed about what i do...because i know the who i am...the more than the other know.....i keep give myself more motivate....

dont get me wrong the "things" that i do...is not a bad stuft...but its a silent sin that every women have that desire but some are manage to fight the "thing"...........

i just dont want to pushed myself so hard about this matter as im not born in a religious family...this story is about the wearing "tudung".....sometime i didnt wear a"tudung"....that why the other are judging me....it sometime make me felt so funny because..if it all about me...the other will say something...( i know its in a good purpose) but when other did it...i doesnt even heard a sound,,,

so what....?? life is like this....there is devil and angel...dont blame my religious..because its me who decide to do the sin...not the religious that ask me to do...stop make such stupid conclusion..that thats religious is a bad religious because they saw a a few person didnt follow the religious's rule.....this is a life..people still want to do it even it is a sin.....because we r not perfect..

i know..i lost in the battle n unable to fight but its not a sign that im gonna lost forever...it just i need some more time to retrieve all my knowledge n energy to win this battle ONE DAY...Amin......