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Friday, July 23, 2010

last month i went to hospital because stomached...but then it turn into gastritis plus food poisons... ahhahah.....it hurt so much...damn...so much.....i keep asking my roommates before go to the hospital if they can tell the warden about my pain...and they just says that i just need a sleep....but it turn bad....

on the bed...i keep singing if i cant forget about this pain...i sang" when u gone" by avril lavinge.. when im singing that song...i keep thinking about "HE"....what happen if he is here...he wont let me felt this pain...i brave my whole deep heart to not crying.....

i walk down from my bed..and hope that my best friend in her room...but she not there...then i walk to the "musolah"...shes there....i sit outside...holding my stomach....and hope so she can be here soon....im not crying....this pain is killing me...

in the hospital ,a doctor cure me......even it not working...at night it came again..the pain... i cant ate anything....even the water.....after the night...i went to the hospital again....the doctor ask me to do test....he said maybe it was appendix...wooo.....thats too much....

but it not...ehheh....i feel okay right now.....

the sky is blue..waiting me to says something..but i dont...because im speechless watching how beautiful are GOd's creature..
i feel so lonely even there r so many people around me...and i feel really small when surrounded by all people..the who i am ...im not remember...im alone...i like it...i want it...i need it...silent in sigh... my sigh....does it tell u something if u heard it???

emm...emm..emmm......im smiling like there something funny...but it not...i just want to make myself feel better..time is passing by..i m worried about the future that i will made...sigh..

i have to move on ,,,i need to reach the final destination...i want to see the future...but im afraid to face the future....what can i do..... i close my eyes to think what i want to write....im smile...and think that i should stop....

stop....feel lonely because there Allah that always watching me..there my mother that always support me....

but then i ask myself more....did im ready???