hhumm...

i really feel depressed right now....i have a friend...he is the reason to me that made me lacking a confident to do everything that i wants... he always insult me....and infront my other friends too...he never thinks about my feeling....he says that i'm ugly and doesn't deserve to be liked by a man... he even ask me "who do you think is pretties ,you or she(my other friend)?"...at that time...i was unable to look everyone,and i just say"she"....because of my lacking of confident i was unable to look everyone that talking to me...

when walking in the college,i see a lot of pretties face...and i envy them but at the same time..i feel so humble...sometimes i feel i want to be like them....but its not what i'm find there...i'm looking for a knowledges..

when i'm see my face in the mirror,,i want to cry...but then i tell myself that this is a challenges for me..sometimes i cry a lot...

i remember,,one night when i'm studying with my friends,"he" said...."buruk oo muka koo,,p la baa touch up sikit,,eee"....when he said like that infornt of all my friend,,,i feel so so so sad....that night i really cry a lot...a lot...i really feel embarrassed and insulted...

i thinks i'm suffered a lot in my college life..i'm talking to my friends without having an eyes contact with them...because i don't want to see their expression when they see my face...i want to cry because i was unable to do so..

even in FB...he always insult me...i hate he,,i want to insult he but i don't want to be like him..insulted a person! i don't want to be like that... to be honest untill now i really feel sad with his attitude,,

thanks a lot to my closes friends and my roomates that always support me... i feel so grateful to meet them....so much!....

hai...

i feel heartbroken right now...i really think that she is my only and only bestfriend,,but why she never be with me when i need someone...?

i miss her so much,,i want to tell her everything goes in my daily life,i really want to....but she never listen...she's too busy with her new life...i didn't blame her...it just,,i want her to listen to me... i once thought that she'd the only that i had..i want to tell her everything....but she never there for me...i feel sad...and this has changed my perspective about life...

i cry after reading her blog...7hb february 2011...she posted on her blog about her bestfriends...and i'm not on the list...and more sad,,that day is my birthday,,,she forgot..after a few week,,she call me to wish me...i feel happy without knowing all that.....

but,,honestly...she still my bestfriends...nope,,,maybe only a friend,,,because a friend that doesn't know anything about her friend doesn't called as BESTfriend...