confident ~

mum , y u said like that?

it hurt me . . do u know that. . nope,, isn't. . when I need u the most, where r u? when my father died. . where r u?. . u didn't hold me , , u did't tell me,, thats everything is gonna be okay . . do u know I was trauma and terrified when "he" gone . .

I still can't forget everything . . I keep holding the memories . . do u know that? do u ever ask me? do u ever ask me what I want n what I need?

I know am not pretty . . u dont need to remind me every night . . it hurt me ,,u know . .

last night when , , I said . . " do u hv to said that everyday?'' . . I really meant it . . I was dissapointed with u . . u were the one that close to me . . U should give me strength! support me! though my difficult times!! but u not . .

u don't know what hv I been through . . I was ashamed with myself .. I was unable to look at anyone at their eyes . . I really hope that u will support me . . say a good thing . . even if it was a lie . .

I lost my confident , . . each days . . U don't hv any idea . .!

but . . I still love u . . so much! i love u mum !